


Just Snippets

by Lyndis



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Past Brainwashing, very complicated case of stockholm syndrome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyndis/pseuds/Lyndis
Summary: Conditioned and tortured for years Jean just tries to do things right. But the new world he lives in now has nothing to do with the dark place he came from. He is not able to understand that friendlyness isn't another trick, another method of torture.
Relationships: Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Price

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Force of Nature](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22148854) by [OpheliaGreif](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpheliaGreif/pseuds/OpheliaGreif). 
  * Inspired by [Force of Nature - English Version](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472461) by [OpheliaGreif](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpheliaGreif/pseuds/OpheliaGreif). 



> The following scenes are based on the german (now also english) fanfiction from OpheliaGreif.
> 
> animexx: https://www.animexx.de/fanfiction/391644/
> 
> ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22148854/chapters/52870225
> 
> It's my special interpretation of how things could go from the 5. chapter on.

And then he felt Knox's lips on his. They felt nice. So nice. Knox was nice. Knox was good. Up until now, Knox had never harmed him, and it had taken him too long to see why. It had only occurred to him two weeks ago when he was finally allowed to play his first game. He was pulled after he nearly had got yellow carded, but it was enough time to recognize his huge improvements. At that moment everything fell into place.

Playing without injuries and the death threat over his head, he could think clearer, move faster and more precisely. Without the treatment of Riko and the Master, he was a better player. And it made sense. It made sense that Riko hadn't wanted that. Riko hadn't been able to bear the thought that someone could be a better player than him.

But the Trojans were different. They wanted to be the best as a team because just one player alone couldn't win. They knew that, so they kept Jean healthy and sane. They not only stitched his body back together but a large part of his mind too and that showed in his performance. They invested well in their newest asset.

So even the kiss was nice bordering shy. It was soft, so soft, so nice. Jean didn't want to test what would happen if he pulled free. He could because no one was holding him. Not even Knox. But if he did, would the next kiss be equally nice?

If this was the price for staying on the team, being treated nicely and getting freedom it was okay. It wasn't a price at all. He liked Knox. He liked him pretty much. It was the love of a dog for his master. He knew that much, but it wasn't bad. He hadn't loved Riko.

So this felt good, kind of. Better than any other kiss he could remember. And the thought to give Knox what he wanted didn't scare him. It was the opposite, really. The thought of finally being able to give something back, to thank him for his treatment was calming and made him a tiny bit euphoric even.

So he returned the kiss. He knew how. Riko taught him well. He could be whatever Knox wanted him to be. Shy or passionate. Silent or loud. Even submitting to any cruel fantasies he had. He could do it. It was okay. Whatever would make his captain happy. Whatever would make him staying nice.

And while they kissed Jean thought about how to go from there.

Knox wasn't as demanding as Riko. When Riko had been wanting something from him, he did take it. Knox wouldn't, and he would stop doing anything if Jean wouldn't show that he liked it. So... a few days from now he would have to go to Knox at least to kiss him, perhaps blow him or even sleep with him. He could do that. The hard part was playing it right. It had to be convincing...

"I wanted to do that for so long. Is it all right? I'm sorry, was it too sudden? You looked just so... I'm sorry. It was too much, wasn't it? With everything Riko did... I shouldn't have..."

Knox seemed lost in regret and pity. Jean had to act or everything was in vain.

"Don't be stupid." Something in him died every time he said something like this. But Knox liked it for whatever reason and Jean's big mouth wasn't anything that would go away any time soon. Riko hadn't been able to carve it out of him, so no one would. "It was nice. I liked it. I like you. So..."

Unsure of what to do exactly he leaned forward invitingly, hoping Knox would kiss him again, so he could show him how okay he was with all of it.

"Are you sure? I mean... you don't have to, you know that, right? I would never do something you don't want."

"Jeremy, please... I want this." Perhaps it was a too pleading tone because the skepticism on Knox's face wouldn't disappear.

So Jean gathered his courage and leaned down to brush his lips over Knox's. It was still nice and shut Knox up. He could get used to this.

When they parted after a long while, Knox was beaming at him. A deep satisfaction manifested in Jean at this sight. He did well.

"What do you want to do today? It's a rare free weekend", Knox asked a bit out of breath.

Jean hesitated. Not only because of the decision he had to make — a simple 'Whatever you want to do' would only bring that frown back to Knox's forehead — but also because he would save himself a lot of trouble if he did this right. So his eyes slid down the chest of his captain and stopped at his crotch.

Knox would be gentle, right? He wouldn't choke him, and it would save him the space in his bed constantly. The erection that tented the slacks slightly, showed him the interest of Knox all too well. He could make this even better...

"Can I...", he swallowed around the bile in his throat and the upcoming memories and looked up again. "Can I suck you off?"

Knox let out a tiny gasp of surprise and pleasure.

Kneel down and ask for it like the good dog you are.

Knox wasn't Riko. He wouldn't hurt him. He wouldn't force him. He would be nice and gentle and even if he lost control... who cared? Jean wouldn't. All that mattered was, that he could keep Knox happy. That he could stay on the team. It was such a small price to pay.

"What? No!" Knox seemed shocked. "No, Jean. I meant something relaxing and enjoyable for you, you know? Like bingeing a TV show, playing cards, going to the movies or clubbing."

Why was this so hard? Knox was clearly aroused, couldn't he just say yes?

Instead of answering, he kissed Knox again, who moaned softly. From there it was easy to stir him to the couch.

"It will be very pleasurable for me", he whispered the promise before kissing him again.

When Knox was distracted enough, he pulled down his sweats gently and was rewarded with a second moan.

"Only...", Knox gasped between kisses. "Only if I can do the same for you."

"Sure."

This was not happening. Not yet anyway. Jean needed a few days to wrap his head around the idea of letting someone touch him again. He would get there eventually, but not now. Not today.

But there was the possibility of killing two birds with one stone.

He swallowed Knox whole in one go, pulling a small scream from his captain. "God, Jean."

Knox's hands clawed at the couch cushion, looking for traction, something to grip to express his ecstasy. He could have gripped Jeans hair for that, but he didn't. The realization sent a jolt of gratitude down Jean's spine and it only encouraged him more. Knox deserved all the pleasures and happiness Jean could give him and so much more.

He gave him the best blowjob he could, Knox's doubts long forgotten. Every time Knox moaned his name. It sent a jolt of pleasure down his spine. He didn't lie when he said he would enjoy this. He did. Even if he felt nothing while doing it, the confirmation coming from his captain was more compensation than he could wish for.

When Knox was close Jean forced himself to think about Riko. It nearly made him choke, but he forced down any feelings, concentrated on Knox instead. He was good at blocking out his own feelings. It only took a few moments.

There was something Riko had taught him. Something he needed now to make this all good. He reached down between his legs, imagining being at the Nest with Riko. He grabbed himself only for show in case Knox was watching. He didn't need any stimulation anymore. Riko made sure of that.

He concentrated until he could hear Riko's voice clear in his head.

"Jean... come"

He made a small gurgling noise when he felt the familiar pressure building in his groin. Riko had trained him for months and years and made sure to choose a very generic trigger, so he could humiliate him at any time without anyone noticing or exactly when everyone could notice. He felt heat rushing to his cheeks as he remembered the more memorable times Riko did this to him. He was glad it only worked with Riko's voice.

He swallowed Knox's release and licked him clean afterwards.

His captain pulled him on the couch gently and kissed him with lazy and relaxed movements. He was clearly satisfied.

"Jean... that was amazing."

He didn't ask how he learned to do it, which was a relief, although he knew that Knox knew. There wasn't another option.

Knox kissed him again with so much warmth that Jean could melt into it. He could and would get used to this.

"Say stop if it's too much, yes? We don't have to do anything."

"I... um..." He didn't have to pretend he was ashamed. He was. He felt the heat in his cheeks again, knew he was red all over. He couldn't help it. Would Knox laugh at him? He felt like a dog who drooled all over himself because his master had rung a bell.

"I'm.... sorry..."

When Knox only gave him a very confused look Jean looked pointedly at his own trousers where a wet spot had built.

"Oh... you...", Knox begun but stopped. "You liked it that much?"

"Sorry", Jean gurgled in slight horror. Perhaps it would have been better, if he had let Knox do it.

But Knox only shook his had, smiling softly. "Hey, that's kind of a huge compliment, isn't it? It's okay. I'm glad you liked it." He would have believed his captain if he wouldn't have had this bewildered look on his face. Yeah... it definitely wasn't normal, that people came when they sucked someone else off. Hopefully it had been worth it.


	2. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy finds out why Jean slept with him.

Jeremy was on cloud nine. The last weeks with Jean were great. He had been skeptical in the beginning, was afraid of wanting too much, of overwhelming Jean or triggering any old memories. But it hadn't happened. It just worked. And after Jean had initiated everything in the first few days Jeremy could fully relax into their new relationship. It was heaven. Jean was equally passionate and sweet in bed and there wasn't a day they didn't exchange some pleasantries at least.  
Of course Jean wasn't healed or something near to okay. There were a lot of panic attacks still as well as nightmares and strange behaviors, but it was so much better now than at the beginning. Even training and games started to get better. Jean was allowed to play a full half last Saturday. So perhaps their new arrangement was some kind of stress relieve for Jean, too. Jeremy sure hoped as much.

When he came back to their dorm room, he could hear Jean talk. When he let him alone in the dorm, he often chatted with or even called Renee, so he could bear being alone better. That wasn't new, so he just sat down at his desk and opened one of his books.  
He didn't want to listen in, but the door was open a bit and the conversation started to get heated and louder. He could have said something, so Jean knew he was there, or he could haven plugged in his earbuds and listened to music. But something in Jeans tone caught his attention.  
"You don't understand!" Jean nearly yelled the words and the despair in his voice worried Jeremy. What was going on? Were they fighting? Why?  
"No! I clearly won't stop! He is happy, okay? He's so fucking happy! And happy is good, right? Him being happy means I can stay. It means I am useful because I am clearly fucking useless on the field."  
What the hell were they talking about? Who was happy? What meant Jean by staying? Did he think about leaving?  
"But why should I stop? It's not hurting me. ... Of course not hurting is good! Do you want me to say I like it? Yes Renee... I do like it to suck dick and let him suck mine. I'm gay, you know? That's part of the deal, obviously."  
Wait... wait wait wait wait. When did they go from Jean leaving to them fucking?  
"I love it. Is that what you want to hear? I fucking love it."  
Never had Jeremy heard such nauseating words in such an even more nauseating tone of voice. It sounded twisted.  
"No! Renee no!" Jean sounded panicked now. It was almost enough for Jeremy to leap out of his seat. Even if he didn't understand what was going on. He couldn't.  
"It's none of your business! I shouldn't have told you. Don't you dare talk to him about this! It isn't that bad, okay? The flashbacks are... bearable. And he is nice. He is really, really nice. I want to do this for him. He is so happy. Is it so wrong to want to make him happy?"  
This was a nightmare. This was the worst nightmare he had ever had. He was going to be sick.  
"It's not important how I feel. It never is. And that's okay. I am okay with this. I seduced him. I wanted this. It was all me, you understand? He doesn't have anything to do with this. I want to do this for him. Why can't you understand? ... no, it's not wrong. Don't say something like this. He's... he's perfect, okay? He didn't do anything wrong. Please, Renee... don't take this away from me. It's the only way I can do at least anything. Just this... just this one thing... please."  
He couldn't just listen to this anymore. It broke his heart and made him sick at the same time. This couldn't be true.  
When he stood up, the chair scraped noisily over the floor. The dorm was dead silent all of a sudden.  
"I have to go now...", Jean nearly whispered. But it was so silent in the room, Jeremy still could hear it. Like every other word before. Every single word still rang in his ears. This wasn't happening. He would wake up any minute now, wouldn't he? Please, could someone wake him up?

When Jean opened the door his face was as pale as when he picked him up at the airport. All life seemed to have seeped out of his body. He stood there like he awaited his death sentence.  
"I can explain", he began.  
"I raped you." The words nearly choked Jeremy. It was suffocating even thinking them. But speaking them nearly killed him. "I should have known... oh Jean..."  
Jean eyes widened in shock: "No! No you didn't! Believe me, I know..."  
He stopped mid sentence, but he didn't have to speak further. Jeremy knew... and that made this so much worse.  
"I said yes, didn't I?"  
Jeremy slowly shook his head: "Jean... consent isn't just saying yes..."  
This conversation was unbearable, but they had to have it. If not now only more things would break.  
"But I wanted it! Why does no one understand?"  
"Why?", Jeremy asked. "Be honest with me and yourself. Why did you want to sleep with me?"  
What he heard from the phone call was answer enough. But this conversation wasn't for Jeremy. It was for Jean. He had to understand.  
"Because it made you happy!"  
"Most of the time I am happy. That's not your reason. Or would you sleep with anyone just to make them happy?"  
Jean was silent for a long moment. "I... I don't know. Maybe? In the right circumstances? If he was nice enough?"  
Jeremy wanted to cry and shout and shake Jean until he saw what was going on.  
"And you? Aren't you allowed to be happy? To feel comfortable? Is this just for others?"  
Jean began to shake violently. Jeremy could see his thoughts without hearing them. Jean knew what answer Jeremy wanted to hear, but he couldn't say it. He wasn't able to... wasn't... wasn't allowed to. Riko put him into a cage and threw away the key and Jean wasn't able to break out. But he had to and the first step was seeing the cage.  
"I am happy, Jeremy. Everything is all right. I'm not sad, I'm not afraid all the time. This... this life is good."  
"You know what the worst thing about this is?", he asked with misery in his voice. "I totally believe that you think this is happiness."  
Jeremy really had thought that Jean was getting better, but now he wasn't sure anymore. Had there been progress or was it just what Jean thought he was supposed to look, to think and to feel like.  
"It isn't, Jean. And we have to fix this. And I am not sure I am the right person for this. I can't even get you to see what is wrong."  
"I'm sorry", Jean whispered and Jeremy wasn't quick enough to catch him, when his knees gave in.

Jean knelt there on the floor, shaking. Every fiber of his body screamed in agony. He wasn't right... he wasn't right. Again... again he wasn't enough. Jeremy would leave him. Jeremy would throw him away.  
He wanted to throw himself to Knox's feet and beg him to keep him. He loved him. He loved him so much. But he wasn't allowed to do or say this.  
"What can I do?", he asked, holding his voice together as good as he could. "Please tell me what I can do. I'll do everything. You can f...fix me."  
Even if fixing meant pain. Riko had had to fix him. Because Jean wasn't right. He never was. But he wanted to be for Knox. For his captain, because he loved him so damn much it hurt.  
When Knox laid his arms around him, the old fear of hurt let Jean flinch. The arms didn't budge, just held him against the smaller figure who was his captain.  
And Jean began to cry, because he couldn't hold his despair back anymore. He cried and pleaded, that please... please Jeremy don't throw me away. And he sobbed that he loved him, so very very much. He couldn't hold it back.  
And Jeremy sat there with him, in absolute shock and realized, that this was too much for him alone and that he needed help. And that please... please someone help him.


	3. Blood

**CW at the end of the chapter**

He couldn't do this anymore. It was too much and he was to big a failure.

No one... no one said anything. Why?

Everytime Knox looked at him, he seemed just short of crying. His Captain was sad and hurt, all because of Jean. Because he had argued with Renee and hadn't been able to tone it down enough, that Knox couldn't hear anything.

He hurt his Captain... deeply. Jean wasn't able to understand. Wasn't able to understand why Knox thought he raped him. Jean knew how that felt and what he did with his captain hadn't been anywhere near that experience. It had been nice and he had been able to be of service. That alone had felt good. But it wasn't what is captain wanted. He wanted real love, not his. Not the love he could give him. Because he was a failure.

And not even there. He was also a failure on the court. Master Rheman was kind of pissed at him because he played too brutal. Today he benched him for the next game. Because he was at the wrong place, in the wrong team and because he couldn't adjust. He... he couldn't be more gentle with his opponents. He just couldn't.

And he couldn't take it anymore. No one did anything to make him right. They just talked and talked and talked and every word and every look made this pressure in his chest a bit more unbearable. Today he had to do something. Riko had shaped him with violence and blood, so he had to pick up where he left of. He had to reshape himself.

So he locked himself into the bathroom. Sitting naked in the shower, the water only barely on and ice cold, he held the razorblade between his shaking fingers.

He was wrong... a failure. He had to make himself better, had to shape himself right.

So he thought about all the words from his coach and all the words and looks from his captain and sat the blade to his inner thigh. Everytime he found a rule in the words, he cut deep repeating the rule until it was burned into his mind.

He couldn't make a noice, but the pain lifted a bit of the pressure on his chest. He finally was able to breath again.

He found ten rules, he cut twenty times. Ten on each leg. The water rinsing from his body was a deep red, when he leaned back against the tiles, shaking violently. His field of vision was narrowed to only a small circle. He felt sick, his legs burned and he was so cold he wondered why he couldn't see his breath.

But he felt better. The pressure was gone for now and he knew that he did the right thing. Riko would be proud of him.

He closed his eyes, just a moment. He would have to get up soon. In two hours he had to be at the court again, having to do better than this morning. Everything would be alright.

He just had to rest a....

**CW: Selfharm**


	4. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean wakes up at a strange place.

beep... beep... beep...

Jean jolted awake.

beepbeep, beepbeep, beepbeep

The first thing he saw was white, the first thing he felt was something on his chest. Cables... cables were coming out of his chest. Without thinking he grabbed them and pulled. There was a short, biting sting and then there were gone.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

He flinched, because of the nervwrecking noise right next to him and jumped out of bed and into the nearest corner when the door slammed open.

A woman in plain, strange clothes rushed into the room, only to stop, when she saw that the bed was empty. It was only a second until she found him, fixing him with a confused and irritated look.

"Mister Morreau. You shouldn't be up yet."

He felt cold all over. She wanted him to lie down. Why? Where was he?

"Mister Morreau?"

She came to him, slowly but unstoppable. "Mister Morreau, what's wrong? Are you in pain? Come here, it will get better, if you lie down."

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

He shook his head. He wouldn't lie on a strangers bed, where they stuck cables in his chest. He pressed his hands to his ears, trying to shut out this awful sound.

His arms were exposed. His whole torso was free. He just wore loose pants and his legs felt funny. Everything felt wrong.

When the woman touched him, he lashed out.

"NO!", he screamed. It was purely instinctive, but he hit her hard enough that she fell.

Shocked at what he had done, he pressed into the corner, shaking, panicked.

Where was he? Where was he? Where was he?

The woman got up and left the room, the awful beeping sound still there. He sank to the floor, again pressing his hands to his ears.

His heart raced and he couldn't breath.

"Please stop", he begged. He couldn't think. It hurt his head and his ears it was so loud. "Please stop... please stop.... please stop."

The door swung open again and two men came in. Someone yelled something, then the awful noise stopped. But it was too late. His world was white pain and static noise and panik and please stop... please stop... please stop...

When the two men came to him, he rolled himself into a ball. Made himself as small as possible.

"I'm sorry", he cried not sure what he was apologizing for, but there had to be something if he was here. "I won't do it again... I won't do it again... please don't hurt me... please... I will be good... please... I will be good... don't hurt me..."

One of the men grabbed him and the next second there was a sting in his shoulder. First the world went black, then the noises died, the pain was gone and everything went blank.

When he awoke again, he was still in this strange white room and the annoying beeping sound was there again. He felt dizzy, his body heavy. The beeping sound grew more rapid.

When he wanted to rub on his eyes, he felt something on his arm. It needed a few seconds, but when he realised what it was, he was wide awake.

Cuffs.

The beeping sound grew so rapid, it began to hurt his head again.

He was cuffed to the bed. Both arms, not his legs. He could reach his face and could sit up, but not that much more.

He tucked at them but he didn't even see where they were held together. They were soft but that didn't help at all.

He tucked with more force, realising that his body felt funny. He had been drugged.

"Mister Morreau? You please have to calm down, everything is all right."

Nothing was alright. He was cuffed to a fucking bed! He didn't even look at whoever was in his room. He didn't want to know, he just wanted to get out of here.

He tucked harder which only made the frame of the bed rattle.

"Mister Morreau, I have to sedate you again, if you don't calm down."

"No!", he said with as much force as he could bring up. His tongue felt heavy and dry.

He flinched away as much as his restraints let him, when the woman by his left side touched his shoulder. "No!" He lashed out again, the woman herself flinshing back. He didn't hit this time, because of the cuffs. He tore at them, but nothing happend.

Why was he here? Where was this horrible place?

"Mister Morreau! I give you one chance, calm down!"

He wouldn't! They could drug him until he died, if they wanted to but he wouldn't go down with a fight. He would tear this place apart before he let anyone touch him.

"What is going on?"

Jean froze.

Jeremy Knox is standing in the doorway, in his hands a small plastic bag and two cups of coffee. Like everything was okay. Like everything was normal.

His mind cleared in an instant. Knox knew he was here. Knox was good with this. Knox came into this room like it was the most normal thing in the world. Knox had brought him here.

He had fucked it up. Jean had been gone too far. He had done something not even Knox could forgive. So Knox had brought him here. For what? Would they shape him anew? Would they make him more like Knox wanted him? Or was this just to punish him?

Jeans breath hitched in his throat when he realised that maybe... maybe these were his new owners. Perhaps Knox couldn't stand him anymore and Rheman thought he wasn't good enough to play on the team. Perhaps they sold him to this facility, whatever this was.

"Mister Knox", the woman greeted him. "Mister Morreau", but she wasn't able to finish whatever she wanted to say. Knox dropped his coffee and the bag and was by his bed in an instant. Jean flinched back, trying to escape whatever would come next. He struggled against his restraints again, but it was futile.

"Why the fuck is he cuffed to the bed!?", Knox asked angrily, nestling with the restraints. "Are you insane?"

Jean never heard his Captain being so angry. "I'm sorry", Jean whispered, shaking violently. "I'm sorry." Because it had to be his fault.

"Mister Morreau hurt another nurse. He had a psychotic breakdown. We had to do something, before he could hurt someone else or himself."

He hurt a nurse. He hurt someone... he remembered her lying on the floor.

"Jean wouldn't hurt someone except-"

"I did", Jean blurted helplessly. "I did, I'm sorry. I did..."

He deserved this. All of it. Everything they would do to him.

"Jean", Knox said, calmer, soft, not angry anymore. Why? He didn't understand. "Why did you hurt her?"

"I wasn't good", he choked out. "I didn't behave." He thought this was the right answer and it was true, but Knox shook his head.

"Jean, please look at me. That's not what I wanna know. What happened?"

He should answer to that, he knew, but his still lazy mind blurted out something else: "Will you take me back eventually? When they are finished making me right? Can I go home again some day?"

He knew so well that he didn't deserved to come back, but he had to know. He had to. If this was it, he couldn't stand it any longer. But if he was allowed to come back some day... he would endure everything else.

"What do you mean? Of course you can. And... Jean, where do you think you are?"

Relief flooded him so suddenly, he felt dizzy. "I don't know. Some kind of behavioral facility?"

The fury in Konx' eyes was back, which made Jean flinch again. He looked at the woman again, when he shouted: "Why the fuck doesn't he know where he is!?"

The woman looked affronted: "He wouldn't listen, we had to sedate him, remember?"

Knox growled, deep and furious and really unhappy.

"I'm sorry", Jean tried again, not that it had made anything better in the past.

"Jean, tell me what happened when you woke up the first time.", Knox growled, still looking at the woman.

"I... I was in a strangers bed. And there was this beeping sound and these cables coming out of my chest and I... I had to escape, I had to... and then there was this woman in these strange clothes and I didn't knew where I was and she tried to make me lie down again and... and this wasn't _my_ bed. And everything was so loud and the beeping hurt my had and it _wasn't my bed_. And then she grabbed me and... and... I didn't think. of course I should just have lied down. It's my fault. I'm sorry."

Knox was silent for a long second and then another one, never looking away from this woman.

"Here is what you'll do", he started in a low really dangerous voice. "You will go and fetch everything we need so Jean can come home with me. You won't touch him again, no one will in fact, and you will fucking hurry because if he has to stay any second longer than necessery, I will sue this hospital until nothing is left of it."

"He clearly needs help!", woman protested. "We should check him into a mental facility. Not send him home. He is a danger to himself."

"No!", Knox growled again. "He is coming with me. Now go before I forget myself!"

The woman grunted but went away. After that Knox quickly freed him from his restraints.

"I... I don't understand."

"I'm sorry Jean. I should have known. But when I found you on the bathroom floor... there was so much blood and you were so cold. We... we brought you to a hospital. You nearly died, Jean."

Jean flinched. He wasn't able to process the full extend of these words, but Knox' voice was so full of fear and dread he couldn't take it.

"You were out for over two days. You developed a fever and they had to give you blood. I wanted to be here when you would wake up, but I missed it. I am so sorry."

"I..." It was hard to speak. He wasn't able to understand half of what Knox said. "I... I am allowed to go home?"

Knox' smile was watery. "Yes, Jean. Yes. Always. Whatever happens. You can always come home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for every kudo <3  
> I am a sucker for these things. It's my fuel to keep writing.  
> It's hard to establish oneself in a new fandom on a new plattform in a new language. Espacially the language is hard XD should have written this in german perhaps.  
> But you can't learn something you don't practice, right? This is really fun and it helps me cope with my own anxiety which is really bad at the moment.
> 
> thanks for reading this, it makes me really happy <3

**Author's Note:**

> I've got tumblr now: [@lyndiscealin](https://lyndiscealin.tumblr.com/)  
> Asks are open, if you are interested. I love interacting with readers!


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